YiXiang Furniture

Admitting the need for assistance — and accepting it — isn’t easy for people as they age. So, how will you know when your aging parent needs help at home? One thing is certain: Mom and Dad aren’t likely to be the ones who tell you.

As adults age, they often struggle to maintain their independence, and sometimes, they conceal or downplay the issues they’re experiencing. It's essential to understand when your elderly parent needs help, as they’re unlikely to initiate the conversation themselves. A sudden health decline or an accident often serves as the wake-up call. This makes it critical to regularly monitor both the physical and mental health of your aging parents, even before the onset of a crisis.

Why Seniors Resist Asking for Help
Seniors have a strong desire to remain independent and retain control of their own lives for as long as possible. It’s common for older adults to hide or understate their health issues until a crisis occurs. As adult children, we often fail to notice the subtle signs of decline until an unexpected hospitalization or fall forces us into action. This can create unnecessary stress and confusion during what is already a challenging situation.

To avoid being caught off guard, it's essential to monitor your parent's health, both physically and mentally, on a regular basis. Encouraging proper legal and financial planning, as well as researching long-term care options, can help ensure you’re well-prepared for the inevitable signs of aging.

Signs Your Elderly Parent Needs Help at Home
When it comes to identifying whether your elderly parent needs help, the following indicators can be particularly telling:

Difficulty Performing Activities of Daily Living (ADLs)
These essential tasks include:

Bathing and grooming

Dressing

Toileting and continence

Walking and transferring (e.g., moving from bed to chair)

Eating and drinking

Physical and Appearance Changes
Look for signs of:

Unexplained weight loss due to poor diet or difficulty preparing meals

Inappropriate clothing choices, such as wearing soiled clothing or dressing for the wrong season, indicating dressing difficulties

Poor hygiene and body odor from infrequent bathing or showering

Unkempt hair, untrimmed nails, or poor oral hygiene

Bruises, wounds, or other marks that suggest a fall or mobility problems

Burns or marks on the skin, potentially indicating unsafe cooking habits

These physical changes often signal that your parent’s ability to care for themselves is declining.

Behavioral and Mental Changes
Watch for:

Loss of motivation or interest in hobbies and activities

Difficulty keeping track of time

Failure to return phone calls or social interactions

Extreme mood swings or changes in behavior

Increased agitation or even verbal/physical abuse

Changes in sleep patterns, like insomnia or excessive sleeping

These signs often point to cognitive decline or mental health issues, which can require professional intervention.

Neglecting Household Responsibilities
Your parent might exhibit signs of neglecting household duties, such as:

Clutter or signs of hoarding

Unopened mail, including overdue bills or notices from collectors

Spoiled food left in the fridge, or lack of fresh food available

Soiled furniture, carpets, or urine odor, indicating incontinence

Failure to maintain the exterior of the home, such as uncut grass or unshoveled snow

These issues not only reflect a lack of physical ability but also can be a sign of mental health concerns.

Unsafe Driving
Look out for signs that your parent may be struggling with safe driving:

Dents or scratches on their vehicle

Confusion while driving or getting lost during routine trips

If your parent shows any of these signs, it might be time to evaluate their ability to drive safely.

When to Intervene with Aging Parents
Recognizing the signs is one thing; knowing when to step in and offer help is another. Caregiving is on a spectrum, and the solution must match the level of need. Whether it’s twice-weekly housekeeping or 24/7 skilled nursing care, the level of intervention depends on your parent’s condition.

A member of AgingCare’s Caregiver Forum shared:
"If your gut is telling you something isn’t right, then it probably isn’t. Always trust your instincts."
Making the decision to hire help for an aging loved one is deeply personal. It’s critical to trust your intuition. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, or if you’re worried about your parent’s health or safety, it might be time to intervene.

Handling Aging Parents Who Refuse Help
One of the most challenging aspects of caregiving is dealing with elderly parents who resist accepting help. Many seniors are in denial about their need for assistance, often due to a strong desire for independence. This can be particularly true if they suffer from dementia or similar conditions.

As one forum member wrote:
"Many elders are in denial that they need help. This is common. Who among us would want to admit we need help, especially after being independent for so many years? Sometimes, we must force the issue for their own safety."

While this can be emotionally difficult, intervening is often necessary for your loved one’s well-being.

Hiring Home Care for Aging Parents
If you notice any of the warning signs mentioned above, it’s important to have an open discussion with your aging parents about their needs. Broaching the subject sooner rather than later ensures that everyone is on the same page, reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings or surprises later on.

Not all signs necessarily mean that your parent needs to move to an assisted living facility or nursing home. However, they may indicate that daily supportive care is required. Many families find that hiring home help allows seniors to remain in their homes, maintaining their independence and comfort for as long as possible.

Consulting with a Care Advisor can help you identify the right caregiving agency in your area and explore other care options available for your loved one.